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Christchurch Verite A High Street Project Off-site Proposal

Forum > Art Theory and History

by auguststoned
drunk "Christchurch Verite' - An Offsite Proposal

Booze buses (vomit comets ) will cruise the entertainment inner-city districts - discharging inebriated riders into a series of low and middle-brow pubs.

Large screen TV's will broadcast sport tests and music videos featuring pneumatically titted anorexics. Visibly bored cover bands will play short sets of stereotypical classic rock (which will be ignored by drinkers).

Entering and exiting the booze buses lads will jostle, threaten and body-check pedestrians. Booze bus patrons will projectile vomit on the interior surfaces of the buses and on each other.

Booze bus riders ( predominantly alpah-males) will be required to gel their hair into spikes and wear  un-tucked, white, vaguely tribal patterned shirts, over acid washed jeans. Shoes must have extra long toes.

As the night ends spontaneous fights and brawls will break out inside and outside of the buses with very few people seriously injured as  hitters will not be able to maintain stable footing long enough to land a solid punch.

In the latest hours of the evening the angriest most feral drunks (who've slipped off the buses in relative sobriety) set to work locating and beating middle age men in suits - men who resemble educators and employers ( remebered from the booze bus patron's childhood years and the current day's wage slavery) who humiliated or caned them  in front of their mates and girls they had crushes on.

The craniums of the suited (prey-species) inebriates will crack like raw eggs against curb-stones and  the sharp edges of bus shelters - their life blood flowing out and ebbing on cold Canterbury sidewalks. Grey matter (deprived of oxygen from impact trauma ) will move toward morbidity and irreversible coma.

Bus riders will be dropped or wander home (while avoiding prowling police) and sleep dreams of reason righteousness and repression.

Morning hangovers will catalyze family arguments and ameliorative drinking.

Large pedantic labels will be attached to the clothing of all participants to help art audiences differentiate between off-site art project participants and real life.

Due to the controversial nature of the proposed off-site project the artist will remain anonymous unless arrested for public drunkenness or violence while participating in and supervising the off-site project. Bail money for the project's organizer (in that event) will be part of the proposal's budget.

Project proposal's CV includes a significant number of international solo exhibitions, exhibitions curated and works in permanent public collections.In the event the proposal is given provisional approval by the high street project the artist will provide an actual CV.If the actual CV does not reflect and substantiate the claims made here  the artist will withdraw the propsal and in its stead stalk the organizers of the High Street Project Off-Site Program - utilizing her/his own funds to underwrite said undertaking.

Artist may be contacted via this email address wherin he/she was solicited in the first place by the organizers of the High Street Project's Off-Site Project Program

The artist's proposal is a take it or leave it proposition. No modification of the proposal will be considered. In kind donation of alco-pops from the manufacturers and distributors of RTD's will be the sole resposibility of High Street Project and its affilate sponsors.


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12 articles & 232 comments since 13 Aug 2006
Sniggers snorts and squeaks of recognition for the sardonic knowledge of the general and media view of our small city (with minor wider echoes).
Should the proposal have stopped earlier, as when it get past the lyrical gore it seems too reality-oriented, and melodically to swerve wildly near the end and just crash.
I thought the artist would change the CV to suit the requirements, a possibility, considering.

46 articles & 641 comments since 26 Jan 2006
tear down and tear into the soft white belly of another prolonged school girl fantasy with writers angst, and crush a boys heart throb for a chance at the big time, being spat at by an anonymous writer. Give me Rugby heads and suit pants or give me death. Just don't leave me alone with intellectuals with drugs.
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